Review: Alestorm- Curse of the Crystal Coconut May28

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Review: Alestorm- Curse of the Crystal Coconut

Pirate metallers Alestorm are finally back after a three-year wait, with Curse of the Crystal Coconut, which comes just three years after No Grave But the Sea and shows the band really spreading their wings. 

“Treasure Chest Party Quest” kicks it off in outrageous manner and tells you right away that this is primed to be a heavy and amazing journey, which continues with “Fannybaws”- the tale of the greatest prostate to ever live and of the quests he completed. This might be the best song the band has ever written- it’s an anthem. 

“Chomp Chomp: gets heavy as fuck and it’s dramatic as ever. Imagine sailing on a ship in the raging sea in the middle of a storm, fighting a hoard of killer alligators. This is “Chomp Chomp” and it’s glorious. 

“Tortuga” shows the band getting funky! With this one, you can dance while dueling in an epic sword fight and they even throw in some rap vocals while “Zombies Ate My Pirate Ship” is the catchiest chorus Alestorm has ever written and they declare war on zombies. Then, throw in Patty Gurdy’s guest vocals and you’ve got a beautiful bonus. 

“Call of the Waves” is a perfect follow up to “Zombies…” and is another sea-sailing anthem while “Pirate’s Scorn” starts dramatic and turns into a Pirate pub dancing song. The rum is-a-flowing on this one. 

“Shit Boat (No Fans)” is just like “Fucked With An Anchor” in that it’s fun as shit and you can see a soccer crowd at a packed stadium chanting this one. 

The album title alone tells you how much fun this record is going to be and it’s definitely that- it’s an album full of tales and not one song is weak, boring or skip-worthy. 

Curse of the Crystal Coconut has some of the heaviest, most well-composed music of Alestorm’s career and they continue to prove they’re the pirate metal band and that not one pirate can take them down. 

It feels like they put more time into these songs and they include a lot more new elements than they’ve used in the past, which is nothing but a win for the fans. 

They also bring in a lot of guests on this album; there’s a lot to digest on this album- musically and thematically and there’s no shortage of fun to be had. This is Alestorm at their best and they continue to blow the plank off the ship. 

From zombies eating pirate ships, the tale of Fannybaws The Pirate and more, Alestorm are BACK!

Rating: 10/10

-Reggie Edwards